Learning To Love Failure -Through Rock Climbing

Intro

For the longest time, I saw failure as permanent. I would try something, and if the result wasn’t what I wanted it to be, I would deem myself a failure. This was, and is, a very unhealthy way to go about life. In life, things will not go the way you expected, often through no fault of your own. So, this mentality of mine, and one which I am sure many people have, did nothing but bring me down. This outlook didn’t change until I began rock climbing. The sport taught me the value of failures and how each is a step towards success, rather than a life sentence. Since I began climbing I view failures more favorably, and in this short newsletter I want to share how my mindset has changed, and I hope yours will change a bit too.

If it doesn’t and you still want to keep identifying with your failures

Failure: The Inner Critic’s BFF

The inner critic exists in all of us. It loves to remind us of past mistakes, times we fell short of the mark, and moments in time when things didn’t go our way. For this little sh*t, mistakes and failures become its sustenance and it uses them to put you down and leads you to identify with them. Through the hard work done by the inner critic, your brain soon begins associating trying new things with failure. You get reminded of the past mistakes, and you feel that visceral pain all over again before you even start. This prevents you from ever wanting to try again. It leaves you feeling stagnant and fearful of the challenge, and you end up staying comfortable.

“There is only one thing that can make a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure” - The Alchemist

You begin to fear failure and lose sight of just how good it would feel to succeed.

Why Failure is necessary; Lessons from Rock Climbing

I could sit here and quote some studies on the importance of failure, but I’d rather give you an example. When it comes to rock climbing, each route is often referred to as a problem. Much like any other problem, there is a specific sequence of actions that need to be made in order to get to the top, and "send" the climb.

One particular climb that had me stumped was this black V3. There was just one move, a jump from the starting hold to the last hold, called a dyno. The move was straightforward enough, however, it was much harder than it initially seemed.

In my first few attempts, I barely grazed the top of the hold. However, once I got in a few attempts, I started getting my hand onto the hold, but I just couldn’t stick it. I would get my hand to the top, and slip off. This went on for about 15-20 attempts. Throughout this pain-staking process, I considered giving up many times. Like I had done so often when things got hard, I could have walked away. However, if rock climbing had taught me anything it was that with each try, you get one attempt closer to sending the route. So, I brushed myself off and tried again. All the while, fighting the inner urge to quit, and sh*t on myself for not getting it. Many people came by and send the route on their first try, and I just kept my focus on myself.

Then, god willing, the 20-something attempt, I sent it. It was not pretty, so I did it again, and sent it again; the second time being better than the first.

You see, this whole situation can be seen as a metaphor for larger challenges in life. Much like the failed attempts in sending the route, you will have failed attempt at succeeding towards your goal. Failure is an inherent part of the process toward success. If you haven’t failed, you haven’t tried. In a way, it is a numbers game.

“I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” - Michael Jordan

How I am working on viewing failure now

Failure is good. That is the mindset shift I am working on. Now I am by no means perfect, and this idea isn’t something that has opened up all my chakras and turned me into Dwayne Johnson. It has simply allowed me to hush the inner critic, stop working against myself, and stay consistent. I used to identify with failures, now I see them as learning opportunities. If I try and fail, I learned what not to do. One step closer is the mantra to repeat anytime you fail. This can work for anything.

Failed relationship? One step closer. Failed on the diet? One step closer. Failed at the interview? One step closer. Failure is necessary so stop avoiding it, and don’t fear it; embrace this shit dude!

Just make sure to learn from these mistakes, or else, it’s just failure for failures’ sake. I am currently failing on learning the guitar, following my diet, and being consistent on this blog. With that, I am learning how to be better and am one step closer to all my goals. Here is your call to action, write down your goal, work at it, and each time you fail write about it and see what you can do differently, then attack again!

Thanks for reading 🙂 see you next time you scrum bum.

TL:DR

In the past, my failures would make me want to try less. From rock climbing, I learned that failure is a part of the process, and it has changed my whole mindset. The more you fail, and the more you learn what not to do, the closer you get to success. If you give up, however, your inner critic will constantly remind you of it and make you feel like a failure. If you are failing you are on the right path, then work on finding the lesson behind each failure. Soon, you will notice yourself going on an upwards trend. Failures will still occur, but they will act as catalysts toward further success, rather than being stopping points. So start seeing failure as a good thing.